In a few days, my husband, Glenn, and I will celebrate 28 years of marriage.
335 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day
Wow, are we old enough to be married that long? I guess time flies when it’s the right one!
Now, we have had our ups and downs over the years but all in all it has been mostly UPS. How do we do it? We work at it! Every couple is different and I took some time to do a little research on how others have stayed married through the years.
I found 25 Secrets About Marriage which had some good advice and matched some of what Glenn and I practice. Another article I enjoyed was titled 85 Beautiful Ways to Make Your Marriage Last Forever. Number eighteen on the list is really important.
It says: “H.A.L.T.: If you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired, stop the discussion and fix those things first.”
Words said in anger can be hurtful and once they are said they can’t be taken back. Don’t just spew the first thing out of your mouth because you might end up regretting it. So, next time tensions are high, stop and think before you speak.
After I completed my research, I thought about what has worked for our marriage over the last 28 years and wanted to share some of our top picks.
- Trust – If you don’t trust your spouse or partner, you don’t have a good foundation.
- Speak Up – You can’t read each other’s minds. Tell your spouse what you want so there is no miscommunication.
- Don’t Compare – Don’t compare your marriage to other people’s because it will never measure up. Find out what works for your marriage.
- Listen – Stop talking and listen to what your partner has to say.
- Live Now – Don’t live in the past, place blame or keep score. Live for where you are now and move forward.
- Compromise – Both sides have to learn to give a little or a lot depending on the situation.
- Don’t let it Linger – Glenn and I seldom “fight”. We have had a few loud discussions but we say what’s on our mind and then move forward. It is not good to hold things in.
- Apologize – This is hard for a lot of people. They don’t think they have done anything wrong or they don’t want to admit it. You might be surprised how the words ‘I’m sorry’ make up for many shortcomings, perceived or real.
- Be Friends – You have to like one another and be able to talk about anything. After all these years, Glenn still makes me laugh almost every day.
- Change is Constant – People grow and mature. I know Glenn and I are not the same people we were when we married but that is okay. Don’t try to change them. Love them for who they were and who they are now.
- Don’t Take Each Other for Granted – Sometimes we get comfortable in our relationships and don’t do the things we used to. Tell your spouse you love them every day. Tell them they look nice or the supper they cooked was good. Buy them a gift ‘just because’. Always remember to do the little things for your partner to remind them how much they mean to you.
It is amazing to me that we will celebrate 28 years of marriage. I am blessed to have found my best friend and someone who compliments me in every way.
I know everything that works for us won’t work for you but remember that you need to work through things together. What is something that works for your relationship? Please post it in the comments below.